Question the Answers: July 4th, Time To Blow Up The Hot Dogs! (FILTER Exclusive)
By Joe Sib on July 1, 2011
Joe Sib (co-founder of Side One Dummy Records, host of Complete Control Radio and currently performing his one-man show "California Calling") has teamed up with FILTER to deliver a weekly feature we have deemed Question the Answers.
So what's the point of all of this? You, the reader, can ask Joe anything (email firstname.lastname@example.org) and he will answer your queries with his own unique brand of wisdom. Sometimes intellectual, sometimes hilarious, but always entertaining, you can always depend on Joe to deliver the goods.
Listen and read Joe's latest installment of Question the Answers: "How do you celebrate America's birthday?”
We recommend you listen to Joe talk to get the full Sib experience, but if you're at work and left your headphones at home, read a transcription below.
Q: How do you celebrate America's birth?
Alright, gang, the time has come to celebrate America’s Birthday! July 4th is staring you in the face and wants to know what the plan is! The plan? Yes! How are you going to celebrate the birth of America?
Nothing says “I love you, America” more than grilling hot dogs, drinking ice cold American brews, and blowing some shit up! Yes, fireworks! Legal, illegal it really doesn’t matter to me. I just want my ears to be ringing! Depending on what you can get a hold of, you need to build your arsenal of M-80’s, Roman Candles, Rocket Launchers, Piccolo Pete's, Bermuda Triangles, Terror Sticks, Fire Monsters, Spinning Flowers, and don’t forget some sparklers for the kiddies. There’s nothing like the scar that a red hot sparkle can make on your 10 year old forehead. It’s almost like a tattoo, but for free and you have the memory forever!
Growing up in Northern California, fireworks were illegal. But, we would still try and figure out a way to get our hands on anything that would smoke, flicker or spark. One 4th of July, I got lucky, my uncle knew a guy who knew a man who knew another man who drove trucks around the country, and if I was “cool” he would get me some fireworks. My friends all screamed with the same reaction, “Dude, are you serious?!” Then the word got out that I had a fireworks “connection”. Before I knew it, I was taking order from kids in the neighborhood. Everyone shared my love and passion for blowing things up; mailboxes, toy models, tin cans, front lawns. It didn’t matter what it was, we just wanted to see it explode. I waited all year for my uncle Frank to get the “goods”. Finally, on July 1st my shipment came in. I got all that I ordered and then some. By the time I got it all out, through my bedroom window, I had made more money than I ever had in my entire 12 years on this planet; $45.00 bucks and it was all mine.
Ahhhh, the smell of hotdogs and sulfur, Happy B-day America!
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